A Past And Future Secret
by fireball13
Summary: Some secrets are better left buried. But when it comes to a possible life threatening situation Kensi finds herself threatened. Should she come forward to Deeks or will he feel betrayed that she didn't trust him?
1. Chapter 1

**A/T: The story is based on an idea that Annajadekin had. Hope you like it!**

 **Enjoy and as always feel free to review.**

* * *

"Deeks," Kensi mumbled irritated while trying to cover her ears with her pillow.

"Deeks," she repeated after getting no response from the still heavily sleeping Deeks.

After her third attempt failed to cause any kind of response from him, she finally decided to step to phase two.

Violence.

She really didn't want to resolve to that but his snoring was getting louder by the minute.

It was already 3 a.m and she still hadn't managed to get any sleep at all.

They had been working on their last case for three days.

Three days of investigating.

Three days of interrogating.

Three days of getting barely any sleep.

As soon they finally caught their suspect, well…actually killed the suspect, and the case was closed they run to Kensi's apartment for a much needed rest.

The moment Deeks crashed on the bed, he fell into sleep. He didn't even have the energy to take off his clothes. Just his shoes.

Kensi felt tempted for a moment to strip him and pull some humiliating prank on him but unfortunately, she lacked the stamina too.

So, she just covered him with the blanket and let him rest.

Unfortunately, he didn't sound willing to let her rest.

3:30 a.m and still going strong.

That was it. She had enough. She needed some sleep too.

Frustrated and without thinking it twice she tossed her pillow and the floor and strongly elbowed him on his side.

"Ouch," he cried out "Why did you do that for?" he stood up on the bed and rubbed his aching side.

"You were snoring," she bluntly responded and turned her back on him hoping to sleep before the second round of Deeks snore began.

"No I wasn't," he laid back on the bed.

"Yes you were," Kensi looked at him with the corner of her eye. "I've warned you Deeks. Three calls! If you don't wake after three calls, I am going to use force."

"I don't treat you like that when YOU snore," he complained and turned his back on her.

"I don't snore and you know it,"

"Maybe not yet, but you do talk in your sleep,"

"I do not!" she protested clearly irritated.

"Oh no?" Deeks turned over again to face her back and whispered in her ear. "What about the time you kept moaning in you sleep while repeating over and over again my name?"

She remembered that night vividly and she was indeed dreaming of Deeks. Actually, an x-rated dream. But she would never admit it to him. She would never hear the end of it.

"No I wasn't," she just shook her head trying to hide her blush.

"Yes you were," Deeks shouted in excitement. "Why don't you just admit it. You were having a hot, steamy, sexy dream about me."

"Even if I were," Kensi rolled over to face him "which I was not, why are you bragging about it?"

Deeks looked at her confused. "What do you mean? My girlfriend was dreaming about me making love to her. Who wouldn't be excited about that?"

"You just said it Deeks. I am your girlfriend. Not some random chick you hope to score. We can have sex any time we want, wherever we want. Real, hot, steamy sex! And you stand here bragging about a simple dream?"

Her lips were so close to his he could actually taste her breath. Minty, as always. How did she do that? Even in the morning, her breath always smelled like mint.

Suddenly, he felt disorientated. He was finding it hard to look away from her face.

Her minty breath.

Her soft lips.

Her mismatching, piercing eyes.

Her intoxicating scent.

She was driving him crazy with lust.

And the worst part was that she was fully aware of the effect she had on him.

"What are you doing?" he swallowed hard.

He could feel his hard beat accelerating, his breathing was becoming uneven, his jeans were suddenly too tight.

Kensi leaned forward and slowly bit his ear while her hands moved to lower to unbuckle Deeks belt.

"I am awake and you are awake. Why talk about sex when we can just dive into action?" she whispered in his ear.

That was all the invitation he needed.

Within seconds Deeks rolling on to her and clothes were flying across the room.

Apparently, they were not going to sleep that night either.

"Are we late?" Kensi wondered as she placed her bag on her desk at the Ops.

"I don't think so," Deeks followed her move.

"Then where are Callen and Sam?" she looked around worried.

"Actually," Deeks scanned his surroundings "where is everybody?"

"Upstairs," suddenly Callen's voice was heard from the top of the stairs. "We were waiting for you."

Kensi and Deeks looked at each other worried. They both checked their phones and no one had called them in. Not to mention that Callen didn't mention the word "case".

So, if this wasn't a case then what was it? And where was everyone?

In absolute sync they run up the stairs and entered the Ops where their team had been waiting for them.

Callen, Sam, Hetty, Granger, Eric and Nell, they were all there.

But something was wrong. Usually, Eric and Nell were the ones to do the briefing in case of a new murder.

But this time, they were viewers just like the rest of team.

Something was definitely wrong.

Then, Hetty looked at Granger and he silently agreed to get started.

"Mr Beale, please secure the room," she ordered.

This was not a good sign. Whatever was going on was most likely a matter of national security.

Hetty stepped forward, took a deep breath and finally found the courage to speak.

"Last night, a flashdrive was stolen from one of my safe houses."

"What kind of flashdrive? What information did it contain?" Callen asked trying not to panic.

If Hetty was keeping something in her possession, then that meant it was extremely valuable and most likely lethal in the hands of any other man.

"I took responsibility of keeping that drive safe under my protection because it involved members of my team."

Everyone looked at each other worried. Everyone wanted to speak, but no one dared.

Did it contain discriminating information? No! That couldn't be it. Hetty would make sure it would be destroyed, not hidden.

Finally, it was their team leader who made the question.

"How exactly does that hard drive involve us? You can't just drop a bomb like that and expect us to figure it out on our own."

"And how exactly did someone break into your house?" Deeks added. "Your security level is supposed to be beyond any kind of breach."

"I don't know," Hetty stared at the floor "whoever it was, he knew too much. He knew the exact location of my estate, the passwords for all security systems and of course he knew about my volt."

"Hetty you are still not answering the great question. What was in there?" Sam was also starting to lose his patience.

"You files," the short woman stated "Skills, abilities, undercover assignments, medical records, IQ tests….basically all the treats that make you great agents."

"That means we could all be compromised. No one is safe. Our families aren't safe anymore," Sam was starting to process the severity of the situation.

"Why would someone go into so much trouble to gain access to us?" Nell asked.

"I don't know," Hetty shook her head.

It scared the whole team seeing their leader, their rock like so helpless. For the first time ever, Hetty seemed like she had lost her control.

"Director Vance hasn't been informed about this, so I would appreciate it if we kept it under the radar for as long as we can."

"He is the director. Maybe we are not the only one in danger. The entire agency should be warned about this breach." Callen sounded more worried than ever.

"Trust me Mr Callen," Hetty placed her hand on his shoulder "The drive contained information regarding solely the people of this room."

"You make the calls Hetty. But just for the record, I don't agree with it," Callen shook his head.

"I need you and Mr Hanna to visit my estate and gather every piece of evidence you can find. I don't care If it's ¼ of a fingerprint. Bring it to me."

"What about us?" Deeks eagerly asked.

Hetty looked at the quiet Kensi. She hadn't spoken a word during all this time. It was clear that she was worried about her secret. Her well hidden secret.

"You and Miss Blye will stay here. As I've already said it is not safe for any of us to be out in the streets right now."

"But Callen and Sam…." Deeks tried to protest but Hetty cut him off.

"No one else is leaving this building without my authorization. Do I make myself clear Mr Deeks?"

'Yes," he quietly agreed.

With the corner of his eye he spotted the still silent Kensi. This whole mess was somehow affecting her more than everyone. Was she worried about the safety of her mother?

No! That is not it. Hetty had already pulled some strings and her mother was transferred to a secure facility.

What was it then? Nothing in the whole world could keep Kensi Blye stuck behind a desk. Not even Hetty Lange.

Even after Callen and Sam left the room Kensi kept standing there staring at the floor with her hand crossed over her chest. A clear sign of defense. But who was defending herself from?

Deeks approached her and softly caressed her cheek with his thumb.

"Hey, are you going to tell me what's bothering you?" Deeks tried to find her eyes but she avoided any form of eye contact.

"Ok, I am freaking out here!" he desperately tried to hide his rising panic.

Finally, Kensi picked up her gaze and met his eyes. She didn't have to utter a single word because they spoke volumes.

Deeks immediately knew that she was terrified.

Kensi Blye and terrified did not belong in the same sentence. They only time she looked that lost, was after her mission on Afghanistan.

"You are killing me here. I know you want my help but I don't know how to help you," Deeks pleaded.

Kensi looked deep into his eyes and wondered why she hadn't been honest with him sooner.

They had been partners for nearly five years. But he wasn't just her partner. He was her man and he deserved to know the truth.

It wouldn't surprise her if he already knew, but he was too damn subtle to admit it.

Anyway, the timing was perfect. Actually, it was as good as it would get.

She placed her hand on top of his, closed her eyes and savored his touch for a brief moment. Even the simplest touch from his calmed her down and made her smile.

When she opened her eyes he was smiling back at her, obviously relieved to see that she was back.

'Are you going to talk to me now?" he asked again.

"Yes," she nodded "but not here. There is something I need to tell you. Something I should have told you a long time before."


	2. Chapter 2

**A/T" Like I've said before I can't take credits for this story. The original idea behind it belonged to Annajadekin, I just embellished i** t.

* * *

"Kens you are freaking me out," Deeks whispered allowing himself to be steered towards the gym.

Kensi was in front of him leading the way, and he quietly followed.

Even though he tried his best to maintain calm, his mind could not help but wander through dark territories.

What did Kensi want to talk to him about?

What was this big secret that she had been keeping from him for so long.

Could she be hiding the fact that she has a child somewhere in the world? Was that the reason why she could not tolerate being around kids?

No! If there was one thing Kensi Blye would never do, that would be abandoning her own child.

So, what was it then?

He tried to organize his thoughts based on the limited info he had so far concerning that flash drive.

Hetty said it contained detailed information about the whole team so what could it possibly be?

There was nothing he could think about.

His mind was blank.

Finally, they stepped into the isolated gym area. They had been walking for only a few seconds but to him, it felt like hours of agony.

Kensi stood still for a second and then turned around to face her beloved detective.

He was not kidding. For the first time, he was actually freaking out. It was written all over his face no matter how hard he struggled to conceal it.

"Kens, I do not care what is recorded in that flash drive," he took one hand in his and pulled her close while caressing her face with the other.

"I know you are expecting the worst right now," Kensi sighed "but what I am about to tell you is important to me. You may feel betrayed because I haven't been honest with you since the first day we met, but take account the fact that no one knows about this. Well, on second thought that is not entirely true. Only Hetty and mother know."

"Know about what?" Deeks shrugged his shoulders and Kensi pulled away. "Babe, no matter what it is, no matter what you are so scared about, I promise to protect you."

Kensi bit her lip and softly smiled at him. He had absolutely no idea where this conversation was heading to but his ignorance was scaring her even more. How could he not figure it out after all these years?

They have spent almost every day together for the past five years. They have spent every day AND night together for the past six months.

Didn't he ever notice?

Well, now was the time to answer that question.

"Do you remember how Ray used to call me?" Kensi casually asked.

"Is that a rhitorical question?" Deeks looked at her confused.

"Just answer please."

"Of course I remember. He called you Wikipedia," he smiled at her.

"Well…..that was not far from true."

"What do you mean," Deeks asked not sure where this was heading to.

Kensi let out a deep breath. "Let me put it this way. Einstein had an IQ of 160. Mine is 184."

Deeks mouth dropped open trying to process the meaning of those words. Then, he burst into laughter.

"You are kidding right? This is a joke!"

He kept smiling nervously waiting for Kensi to join him, but she was standing cold as ice in front of him.

Suddenly the realization hit him.

"You are not kidding," he exclaimed.

"I've been meaning to talk to you about this for a really long time but I never found the perfect time."

Deeks rubbed his jaw and then his scruff with his hand. "I don't even understand what this means. Are you some kind of a genius?"

"Not exactly,"

"How many languages do you actually speak?" he asked fearing the answer.

"Twelve," she mumbled behind her breath looking at her floor.

"I am sorry what?" he shouted stunned.

"Twelve!" she repeated increasing the tone of her voice.

"Nell is supposed to be the one with the highest IQ in NCIS. Are you smarter than her too?" he started paving up and down.

"Yes," she let out a deep breath.

"Are you capable of doing Eric's and Nell's work up in OPS?"

"Yes,"

"This is unbelievable," he shook his head still paving.

Seeing him in that state was killing her. She should have been honest with him sooner. She should have told him the truth the moment she realized she had feelings for him.

Secrets never stay hidden for long.

He wasn't looking at her. Just walking up and down….up and down….his eyes pinned on the floor.

Kensi could feel the tears form in her eyes but tried her best to hold them back.

Many men had dumped her in the past because they felt inadequate and inferior in front of her but she never gave them a second thought.

But this was Deeks. The only man in her life she could dare to dream a future with. He made her feel safe. He made feel accepted. He didn't mind her occasional swearing, her hoarding habits, her love for junk food, her obsession with Love Actually…. He never tried to change her. He accepted he for who she was and she could never bear to lose him.

"Deeks look at me," she quietly pleaded "I need you to listen to me."

Deeks finally woke up from his trance and made eye contact with her.

He could see the tears threatening to stream down her flushed cheeks. Kensi Blye hardly ever cried. But even when she did, he was always there to sooth her pain.

This time was no different than any other. He shouldn't be making this about him. His partner needed him. She needed him to understand and he was willing to listen.

Deeks walked back to her and entwined his fingers with hers resting his forehead on her head. Like always, her hair smelled like lavender. He breathed her in and softly placed a kiss pulling her close. He could feel her relax under his touch.

How did he do that? A simple touch, a soft kiss and she was at his mercy. God, she loved and hated that effect he had on her.

He led her to the bench where they both sat, their long fingers still playing together.

"You know, with your set of skills and IQ you could be a lot more than just an agent."

"I know," she nodded "but I don't want to be anything else. I am happy just the way I am, with the people that surround me."

"I've seen movies regarding people like you. Your brain must be working overtime, constantly looking for ways to occupy itself."

"I've learned how to tame it," she rested he head on his shoulder.

"As a kid, I was finding it hard to concentrate on anything that didn't stimulate my brain. Normal toys were dull, and children of my age were not on my level. There was nothing wrong with them of course," she snuggled even closer to him.

"Whose idea was it to take an IQ test?" Deeks asked.

"My father's," she smiled nostalgically "He knew from the very beginning that I was different than the rest of the kids. He was the only one who could understand my needs. That is the reason why he tought me how to fix and engine, wire a house, survival skills, self defense, shooting, sailing….pretty much anything to keep me occupied. In his presence I felt like I could be myself. Anyone else was feeling intimidated around me. Including my mother."

"Is that why you ran away from her?"

"My father wanted me to have a normal life. To live! My mother on the other hand was already planning for me to become a lawyer."

"That is all that bad," Deeks tried to excuse her. "Besides, I was a lawyer. We could have been partners both in order and law. Wow, we could have our very own show."

Once again Deeks was using his humor to defuse the tension and Kensi appreciated the effort even though it didn't work as memories of her childhood flooded her mind.

"Deeks, I was only seven. By the time I was ten she had planned out my entire life. She wanted be to become a lawyer, a doctor, an architect….anything that would grand me a wealthy future, but not my happiness. I couldn't be with her any longer. She would call my father every single day after I left home, accusing him of ruining my future. She thought I was wasting all my potential. Maybe she was right. I could have been a successful doctor by now, but I wouldn't be me. This is me. This is who I am, not what I am."

Deeks pulled her closer and held her tight in his embrace.

"So, Hetty knows huh?"

"Yes! She knew from the very beginning and agreed to keep this a secret. I thought she had destroyed all evidence regarding my skills. If people found out about me, they would either lock me behind a desk like Eric and Nell or in a lab or even worse…they would train me to become a living killing machine for all of their black ops. I don't want either of those. I just don't know why Hetty decided to keep that damn flash drive," Kensi felt little annoyed.

"Are you honestly happy with the choices that you have made in your life?" Deeks asked but deep down inside he just wanted the confirmation that she was happy with him.

Kensi raised her head and looked at his blue eyes. "Of course I am happy. Every single choice I've made has led me to this exact moment."

She reached up and touched his face as he thumb brushed his lips. Without hesitating she leaned forward and kissed him softly.

That was all the confirmation he needed. She had an IQ of 184. So what? She was still Kensi. She was still the woman he fell madly in love with. She was still his partner and he trusted her with his life.

"Aren't you afraid that one day you will get tired of playing stupid around all of us?"

"I am not playing stupid," she exclaimed offended. "I play quiet. There is a difference. I never said I can't hack into any system like Eric and Nell. I never said I can't speak Russian like Callen. I never said I can't kick Sam's ass in MMA. I just chose not to. I am fully aware of my abilities and I use them only when others are inadequate."

"Nell is going to freak out once she finds out you are smarter than her," Deeks chuckled.

"That's true," Kensi couldn't help but brag "but promise me you will never tell anyone about me. This conversation never happened. I don't want them to change their behavior towards me ok? And that includes you too. Promise me that this will not be factor in our relationship."

Deeks took her hand in his, kissed it softly and then placed it upon his heart "Kensi Marie Blye, I fell in love with who you are. Nothing else matters!"


	3. Chapter 3

"I know you are here Leon," Hetty whispered as she sat on her desk and took a sip of her hot tea.

"For how long have known I've been here?" the director stepped out of the shadows and slowly took a seat opposite to her.

"You disappoint me Leon. By now you should know that I am aware of everyone's whereabouts, including out director's," the short woman calmly responded.

"You see so confident yet, I get the feeling that for once you are in the dark."

Hetty took another sip and placed her china on her desk. "I have to admit it took me a while to figure it out, but now everything seems so clear. So, answer me this director. Is it a coincidence that your presence is marked by the abduction of my precious flash drive?"

The director shook his head. "I knew you'd figure it out sooner or later."

"You ordered your men to break into my house and steal from me. Do you comprehend the consequences of your actions Director? I could report you right now," Hetty threatened.

"I know you will not do that Hetty because you don't want all those files in the flash drive to go public. I should be the one threatening to report you. You are the one keeping secrets from your own agency," Leon firmly responded to Hetty's accusations.

"Those files, those information are in no way a threat to our national security," Hetty looked right into his eyes slowly losing her patience.

"How can you be so blind Hetty? Of course those files pose as a threat to our national security. According to the psych evaluations Mr Callen is impulsive, obsessed with his past and capable of going rogue any given time. Mr Hanna has been married more that once during undercover Ops and sooner or later these secrets are going to catch up with him. They call Callen the lone wolf but Mr Deeks is not far behind. During his time in LAPD nobody wanted to work with his because he had the tendency of diving to deep into his dark characters. And I am leaving the best for last. Agent Blye. Where you ever going to tell me the truth about her?"

"Miss Blye is one of my best agents so the least I could do was to respect her wish."

Hetty was slowly starting to lose her patience. Director or no director no one could threaten her team and get away with it.

"But Hetty, you are holding her back. She may not realize it now but once she becomes fully aware of her abilities and how she can contribute to our country, she will definitely change her mind," Director Vance tried to make Hetty see things his own way but it was clearly in vain.

"Like you said, Miss Blye is an intelligent person and fully aware of her abilities. We have hundreds of analysts, technicians, mechanists….but how many good agents do we really have? If you stuck her behind a desk she will wither. Our abilities don't define who we are. Our personalities do. And Miss Blye is an agent down to her chore."

The Director shook his head. "She is wasting so much potential, you know that."

"At least she is not wasting her life," Hetty calmly responded.

"Wether we like it or not, our society does appreciate people like Kensi. Ordinary people are afraid. So, those individuals with extraordinary abilities have two choices. Either work for us, or against us."

Hetty looked at the Director straight into his eyes. "You make it sound like a treat."

"It's not a threat Hetty, it is reality," he bluntly responded. "People like Kensi should be kept safe under our protection."

"People like Kensi?" Hetty shook her head. "You keep saying that as if it a decease. Let me make this clear Director Vance and listen carefully because I am only going to say this once. The only people who can keep her safe are her team members. They saved her when Vakar tried to abduct her. They saved her when those Russians tried to blow her up with lasers. They saved her when Clairmont tried to kill her. But above all, they flew over to Afghanistan to find her even if they didn't know whether she was alive or not. What did your people do? They accused her of wasting our government's millions. So don't you dare tell me that you care about her safety. You are just like any other ordinary man. You are afraid of her so you'd rather keep her close. "

Vance swallowed hard because he knew that those words were not a complete lie. Nell Jones WAS supposed to be the smartest person within the LA headquarters but Vance never claimed her. He never judged Hetty's decision to use her in the field simply because he didn't care and the tiny woman knew it.

"Like they say, in the land of blind men, the one-eyed man is the king, Hetty continued. "Nell has been the queen in here for all these years and yet you never laid an eye upon her."

"That's because I am not interested in the Queen. I am interested in the Empress," Vance raised his eyebrows.

Upon those words Kensi and Deeks walked into Hetty's office surprising both their superiors.

"Only problem is, I am not an Empress," Kensi said biting her lip nervously.

Vance stood up offering Kensi his seat but of course she declined with a simple shake of her head and preferred to stand next to her partner.

"I know that what I am about to say may endanger my job but I don't care," she let out a deep breath and continued. "We've been standing in the shadows long enough to know that the flash drive is under your possession Director Vance. I don't know what you plan on doing with the information that it contains, but know this. I have no intention of quitting this team, but if you authorize a transfer to any other department you have my word, I will leave. And mark my words, I will take down all those who forced me to make that decision. I will make sure that everyone finds out the true intentions of the government. Lock everyone who is gifted so that we can control them. Make them our friends because we cannot afford to make them our enemies."

Kensi's words were firm and full of confidence drawn mostly by the presence of her partner. Her partner in both work and real life.

"And I shall follow her," Deeks added as he cheekily held Kensi's hand pulling her close to him.

That was the first time he openly seeked physical contact with his partner. Hetty was aware of their relationship status but they were always careful not to let their personal lives intervene with their job.

At that point though, nothing mattered. They had nothing to prove.

Vance forced a smile in an attempt to hide his defeat. Yes, he wanted to use Kensi's abilities to their fullest, but he surely couldn't afford to lose her completely from the agency.

"Very well," he looked at both Deeks and Kensi.

With one hand he reached his pocket and took out the infamous flash drive. The Director walked up to Kensi and held the flash drive right in front of her eyes.

"How do I know that there are no other copies out there?" Kensi asked suspiciously.

"You have my word Agent Blye. This is it. Better keep it safe this time because in the wrong hands, this information could be lethal," he said before handing the tiny piece of technology to Kensi and leaving the building.

Kensi waited for a few seconds to make sure the Director was long gone before falling into Deeks arms in relief. She spotted Hetty with the corner of her eye discreetly leaving the room, allowing some time alone for the two partners.

"We did it," she whispered in his ear trying to hold back the tears of joy.

"You did it. That was all you Kens and I couldn't be prouder," Deeks planted a soft kiss on her forehead.

"What are we going to tell Sam and Callen after they come empty handed from Hetty's house?"

"I am sure Hetty will find a believable excuse," Deeks grinned.

"I don't want them to find out Deeks," Kensi begged him with her eyes. "I just want things to go back to normal."

"I promise, " Deeks held Kensi's hand and softly kissed it. "I promise I won't say anything to anyone."

"What about you?" Kensi asked fearing the answer.

"What about me? Deeks looked at her surprised.

"Are you willing to forget that none of this happened? Are you willing to go back to this morning?"

Deeks cupped her face and gently stroke her cheek with his thumb before pulling her against his body for a passionate kiss.

Once they were out of breath he rested his forehead on hers and whispered smiling.

"This, changes nothing!"


End file.
